Monday, September 22, 2008

The Ballad of Reading Goal



--Edit 9th Oct -- The Video of the match keeps getting pulled, but the Video of Chris Kamara is much better. Unbelievable Jeff!

I just wanted an excuse to use that oh-so-clever headline. It's quite scary how many google hits suggest that Oscar Wilde wrote a poem about Reading scoring a goal, or about someone reading Goal Magazine (not just any magazine, this one has "big colour pictures"). Even the "I'm feeling lucky" hit for Ballad of Reading Gaol has goal in the URL.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

SQL

Select count(men)
from
tblDeadMansChest

> 15 Aaarrrhh!

I have been learning SQL, while teaching the unemployed of Bochum the importance of "International Talk Like a Pirate Day". The tutor has saved the date in his iPhone for next year so that he can spread the word. It's good to know that you're making a difference in the world.

Monday, September 08, 2008

Torpedo Entenhausen 2 - Tote Hosen 0

5-5-3-4-5-3-3-2-2-3-2-1-5-5-8

Guess the next number? The mean value of this sequence is 3.73, the mode appears to be 5, the standard deviation 1.79 (according to this statistics website).

That series is the number of goals conceded by Torpedo Entenhausen this season in the first 15 matches. We have the second worst defensive record in the league with 56 goals. Last season we only conceded 49 goals in 26 games. This is what happens when you put an injured outfield player in goal: miskicked clearances, balls that slip through hands, balls that sail over the goalkeeper as he tries to jump with his injured knees.

Markus, our goalkeeper, was out for half a year with a broken arm. He is now back, and spent the first 30 minutes plucking balls out of the air. After that the opposition gave up shooting on goal. It looked like our firm defence would earn us a 0-0 draw, but we scored two goals in the last seven minutes. I scored the second with a point-blank-range header, after comically failing to tap the ball in with my foot.

Oh yeah, almost forgot, the sequence now reads

5-5-3-4-5-3-3-2-2-3-2-1-5-5-8

and our mean goals conceded per game is down to a slightly more respectable 3.5.