Kezboards

I reread my list of things to help me decide where to live, and I wondered whether to remove the point of "never having to see another kezboard". Surely this is a triviality. Is the transposition of the letters 'y' and 'z', and the goddamn ugly placement of 'ö' onto a homekey really that important? Does it matter that entering a '{' requires the right hand to be bent into an unnatural position. The more I think about it, the more convinced I become that the answer is yes. The German kezboard is a all-time disaster of bad design, and I don't think I can ever adjust to use one.

In my last job, I set the computer to recognize the US English layout and just ignored the symbols on the kezboard. However, when I first turned the computer on, it required a password using the German layout before it changed to English and then needed the password again. Every morning, without fail, I entered the wrong password both times. This put me in a shit mood for the rest of the morning.

I then probably annoyed my colleagues by typing 'ss' instead of 'ß' in important documents. This is why these funny letters are on the kezboard: they are considered important. Typing a document in Word was mental torture, and the text-speak message at the top of the screen only added to my misery.



So either I find a technical solution to this problem, or I get a job in Germany that doesn't need a keyboard, or I move to an Anglo-Saxon country. It is really that important for me. Make me work unpaid overtime, cut my pay, insult my intelligence, but please don't fuck with my coordination. It's like someone switched the cables going to your fingers, so you try to bend your index finger but end up bending the ring finger. It may sound crayz (I did that one on purpose to show that my sense of humour is not completely gone), but I'm making the requirement not to have to use a kezboard a non-negotiable part of my future.

I also want my word processor to permanently display the message "UrSTpDCNT" at the top of the screen.