Tuesday, October 09, 2007

FC Pr0n0 Villa 1 - Torpedo Entenhausen 2

Porno Villa are new to the league, so we welcomed them with a good kicking, apparently. We picked up three yellow cards, of of which was for me, although I think it was more clumsiness than anything else. One of the other two yellow cards was for suggesting that the referee was in need of a new pair of glasses, so I don't know where all their injuries came from.

It wasn't a great game, but I scored the winning goal from point-blank range. Normally this is a cliche to say "somewhere very close to the goal", but the limit of point-blank range is quite easy to calculate.

The term comes from the days of cannons. The normal procedure was to estimate the range to the enemy, look up the correct angle of elevation in a table, point your cannon up in the sky, and kill them with a beautiful parabola. Alternatively, if you could already smell the garlic on the enemies breath, you just pointed it straight at them and fired quickish.

Taking the equation from the wikipedia article, a shot speed half of David Hirst's record shot speed (57 mph) and an allowable drop in trajectory of half the height of the goal (4 feet), then point-blank range becomes about 12 metres. This makes sense, when you think about it, as few people bother to adjust for gravity when taking a penalty kick (although maybe some overadjust), but it is common for a free-kick to be shot up and over a defensive wall and into the goal.

So technically, almost all people shot by guns are hit "at point-blank range". It is rare that the killer has to adjust for gravity, but in common usage the term has come to mean "from a distance at which you can't miss the target". So my goal yesterday, scored from a range of zero yards (it was already on the goalline) fulfilled both the original meaning and the newer one.

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