The Deputy Mayor of a capital city, for fucks sake! What are the chances of that? Assuming, as usual, that this is not a coincidence, this was either
a/ A planned political assassination by monkeys
b/ The latest in a string of monkey killings
Either way, we're fucked.
And the plan to save us from these damned dirty apes?
One approach has been to train bands of larger, more ferocious langur monkeys to go after the smaller groups of Rhesus macaques.
Well, no dangers lurking around the corner there, then.
This approach reminded me of a scene from the Simpsons, where Bart helped introduce bird-eating Bolivian Tree Lizards to Springfield, and is thanked by the town for solving their pigeon problem. The episode ends with a discussion between Principal Skinner and Lisa.
SKINNER: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
LISA: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
SKINNER: No problem. We simply unleash wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
LISA: But aren't the snakes even worse?
SKINNER: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
LISA: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
SKINNER: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.
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