Stains

I fixed the brakes on my bike today, as I was cycling into town and have been reduced to braking by foot for the last week. When I finished, I looked down at my shorts and saw they were covered in tomato sauce from last night's tea. Only a slob would go to town in tomato-stained shorts, I thought, but I couldn't be bothered to change them, as the pockets were full of useful things and I was all ready to go. Then I realised my hands were covered in bicycle grease, and that by wiping the black oily stuff on my shorts I could cover the tomato stains.

So here is my guide to stains. More stains may follow as time and fortune allow.

Tomato-sauce: Glutton, slob, lazy bastard.

Oil: Man, hard worker, knows one end of the spanner from the other, too busy mending stuff to keep changing clothes.