Good Friday is without a doubt the most depressing day of the year. Not content with being miserable by themselves, the good christians of Germany make sure that everyone else is thoroughly miserable too.
I have been living in Germany for a total of five and a half years, and never once really felt the need to dance on Good Friday. In fact I only ever feel the need to dance when I'm really drunk. Yesterday I found out that there is really a ban on dancing on Good Friday. I'm not quite sure how this is enforced, though. When does a sprightly walk become a dance? Is a hug just the zero-velocity limit of a slow dance? What about jumping up and down? Can you ban people from jumping up and down? "My good Herr. Zat vas sechs Sprungs in eine Minute. sprungen Verboten! VERBOTEN!" I wonder what happens if you walk into a police station and start to waltz through the entrance hall. I really feel that somebody should test the limits of this law.
As far as I can tell there is no law in Germany to stop you crucifying yourself or your friends on Good Friday. I mention this with respect to the least surprising headline of the easter weekend. So go ahead next year with your own private crucifixion, but remember to buy the hammer, nails and wood the day before (all shops are closed on Good Friday), and for christ's sake try not to enjoy it.
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